I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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