My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize