She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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