This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize