used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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