saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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