I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
