i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
