Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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