Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
