ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
