Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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