I wish I could teleport
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize