Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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