i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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