He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize