I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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