he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sober January is a disaster.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
