I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
