Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
