she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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