Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
how does that bad decision feel?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
