He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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