You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
