What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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