I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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