How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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