Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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