If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
