no you cant smoke seaweed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize