well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
