wanna go halves on a baby?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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