my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
