I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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