I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
whose parrot is this?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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