We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
