Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
