Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize