dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
