Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Text me some of your sweat
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
