Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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