you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would fuck him just for his dog
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
