i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
