Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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