Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
