Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
