this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
