is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
