Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
