I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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