Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize