i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
