WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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