I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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