yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my sisters under your porch take her home
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize