stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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