yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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