Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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