you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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