I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
