So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize