At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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