You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
