He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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